UNEEK UK

SPEEDING

HOW TO AVOID A SPEEDING TICKET

Must remember this one for the next time you get pulled over

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer:
May I see your driver's license?

Driver:
I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th Drink Driving
conviction.

Officer:
May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

Driver:
It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer:
The car is stolen?

Driver:
That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card
in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer:
There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver:
Yes officer. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman
who owns this car and stuffed her in the boot.

Officer:
There's a BODY in the BOOT?!?!?

Driver:
Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called for armed backup.
The car was quickly surrounded by police,
and the inspector approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Inspector:
Sir, can I see your license?

Driver:
Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Inspector:
Who's car is this?

Driver:
It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.

The driver owned the car.

Inspector:
Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in
it?

Driver:
Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Inspector:
Would you mind opening your boot? I was told you said there's a body
in it.

Driver:
No problem.

Boot is opened; no body.

Inspector:
I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him
you didn'thave a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box,
and that there was a dead body in the boot.

Driver:
Yeah, I'll bet the lying b@#$+%d told you I was speeding, too.