UNEEK UK

NOSE-PICKING

 

The Nose-Picking Glossary

The Kiddie Pick:
When you're by yourself and you uninhibitedly twist your forefinger into your nostril with childlike joy and freedom. And the best part is, there's no time limit!
 

Camouflaged Kiddie Pick:
When, in the presence of other people, you wrap your forefinger in a tissue, then thrust it in deep and hold back the smile.
 

Fake Nose Scratch:
When you make believe you've got an itch but you're really trolling the nostril edge for stray boogers.
 

Making A Meal Out Of It:
You do it so furiously, and for so long, you're probably entitled to dessert.
 

Surprise Pickings:
When a sneeze or laugh causes snot to come hurtling out of your nose, and you have to gracefully clean it off your shirt.
 

Autopick:
The kind you do in a car, when no one's looking. NOTE: Someone is always looking.
 

Pick Your Brains:
Done in private, this is the one where your finger goes in so far, it passes the septum.
 

Pick And Save:
When you have to pick it quickly, just when someone looks away, and then you pocket the snot so they don't catch on to what you did.
 

Pick And Roll:
No explanation needed.
 

Pick And Flick:
Ditto.
 

Pick And Stick:
 You wanted it to be a "Pick and Flick," but it stubbornly clings to your fingertip.
 

Paydirt:
 The kind where you remove a piece of snot so big, it improves your breathing by 90%.

FUNNY DOCUMENTS HOME